


A Bit Too Much Too Late

by northerndownpourr



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 7,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northerndownpourr/pseuds/northerndownpourr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dallon professes his feelings for Brendon he is initially rejected, only to later find out it was to keep up appearances. What ensues is lies, court battles, and a lot of damage control, and a lot of fun (so to speak.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aware

I was playing and singing Aware by Front Porch Step on the piano. It went like this.  
Well I see you standing there and your eyes are unaware  
That I've been staring at them all night, wishing the brain behind them cared  
About the way you make me feel or how your smile makes me nervous  
Or how the fact that you exist makes me feel like I have a purpose

I'm sick of lying in your bed while we're both laying down  
You say you want me for a friend. I hope you know I hate that sound  
But I will bite my tongue because I hate when you're pissed off  
But you should know I need your touch like falling rain on thirsty crops

Damn you stupid girl. Why won't you drop your guard?  
The space between our lips is bound to break my ever aching heart  
And I am sure that you will never find a man that is ever gonna love you more.  
So why won't you love me?

Well I hate your cigarettes and the men that you go see  
Because one is killing you, while the other's killing me  
But I know that you'll stay stubborn because you know I'll stay alone  
'Cause we both know, inside your grasp, is the only place I feel at home

Now I sit with my guitar. Write you one more stupid song  
I hate the way you make me feel like I'm doing something wrong  
But you'll just have to deal with all the things that I have mentioned  
And I hope this song is golden like the point of my intentions

Damn you stupid girl. Why won't you drop your guard?  
The space between our lips is bound to break my ever aching heart  
But I know that you'll stay stubborn because you know I'll stay alone  
'Cause we both know, inside your grasp is, the only place I feel at home

Now the deed is done and there is nothing left to say  
Prayed to the God you don't believe in, that you'll love me some day  
So when the years go by and you forget how much I care  
Put in this song and sing along so your heart will be aware

It's like giving up on everything that you believe  
To put your trust in a girl that stole your heart right of your sleeve  
And I'm so sure that you will never find a man that is ever gonna love you more  
But you just won't love me

Sarah probably thought I was singing to her, but I wasn’t I was singing to Dallon. But I couldn’t do anything. Dallon had just professed his love for me. In front of Sarah, but I had to say I was married, and I couldn’t, but I wanted so badly to say “Yes Dallon, Yes.” and kiss him on that floor in my house under the ceiling fan. 

Dallon left without saying a word, after the song. Sarah had moved on and had started to do her make-up. I picked up my iPhone from the top of the piano. 

Dallon, I wanted to say yes so bad. I wanted to tell you how much I care, how much I love you- but I couldn’t because of Sarah. Meet me at the bar down the street. Breezy is out of town with the kids. All the love- Bren.

Bren, that’s so cute- just the word Bren. I will meet you there. Even more love- Dallon.

“Sarah, I’m going on a bar crawl with Zack, I won’t be home until tomorrow.” I said as I grabbed a phone charger, and my wallet and phone.

“Ok Bren, be safe.” She sounded distant, upset, probably about Dallon. I got into the car and drove to the pub where I picked up Dallon. 

“Oh you don’t know how good it’s gonna be to do what I’m about to do,” I said as he got into the car. I leaned into the passenger seat and kissed him with everything I had, everything I was. My hands were trembling and latched across his back. 

“That felt better than any kiss, that anyone has ever planted on me anywhere. It felt real and raw, and beautiful.” Dallon leaned against my shoulders as we drove back to his place. I walked in and set down my keys and phone, and immediately started kissing him, pushing his beautiful black hair away from his cosmic blue-gray eyes. 

I pushed him into the wall and worked my hands up his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. He took off my leather jacket, but left my t-shirt on, for now. We collapsed onto the couch and I proceeded to take off my t-shirt.  
I kissed down his chest and traced his collarbones, before we were both out of breath and pulled away.

“Dallon, we can keep this up, but in secret. Sarah can’t know, Breezy can’t know. To quote Banks, “This is special, fuck ‘em only we know.”” 

“I agree with you, Bren. He pulled a blanket up on over us. Eventually I drifted off to sleep in his taller chest, wrapping around me.


	2. Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt

“My lungs will fill and then deflate, they fill with fire, exhale desire.”- Car Radio// twenty one pilots

When I woke up it was still dark outside, and Dallon was still on the couch. I moved his arm out from over me, and slipped out from under his warm grasp. I walked out of the door to the patio and went to smoke. 

Lighting the cigarette, I took a long drag and stared out at the other houses in the neighborhood. Only a few windows were lit and no one else was outside. I started singing, or more like mumbling Car Radio by twenty one pilots. I was surprised to hear the door open when it did. 

Dallon had changed into sweatpants, and a baggy t-shirt. He was holding a t-shirt and sweatpants in his hands. 

“I texted Zack to say you were staying with him for a couple of days to help write the album and just play video games. He agreed to text Sarah. Breezy won’t be home for 4 days. I have clothes you can wear, if you need them.” He laughed and came over and with his good 6 inches on me in height, but his arms crossed in front of me. 

“You are the greatest person ever, now let me put on those clothes.” I said, grabbing them out of his hand, and reaching up to run my fingers through his hair.

“Don’t.” He walked back inside the door leaving it open for me to follow. 

He didn’t have a shirt on and instructed me to take off the jeans I was wearing. He pushed me against the wall next to the fireplace, and started kissing up and down my chest, hitting my collarbones, delicately tracing them. We stumbled upstairs, and laid down his bed.

“I need you. You...are...wonderful..” I was panting and out of breath, sweaty underneath his sheets. 

“You are so cute Brendon, so fucking cute, I just want to make you breakfast..isn’t that what you do the morning after, right?” He got up and put the gray sweatpants back on and an old ratty t-shirt. I put the clothes on that he handed to me. It was his high school graduation t-shirt. 

He turned around holding a polaroid camera and there was a flash, and a picture printed out. It was me looking like a hot mess with a surprised face. I grabbed the camera from him and took a picture of him making eggs. 

“You are the cutest thing ever, I just want you to know.” Dallon kissed me on the forehead as he set the breakfast plates down on the table. To quote Vonnegut “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt,” I thought as I sat down at the table.


	3. Catch

We were sitting on his couch watching law and order. His arm was around my shoulder, and I was tucked under his body. It was nice that he was taller than me, but it made me feel short- nice for cuddling though. 

I had taken control of the polaroid after breakfast. Snapping pictures of us as olden days selfies, and occasionally making out, but we wanted a pizza. Though we couldn’t leave the house for fear of other people.

“Dallon, do you know how to make pizza?”

“As a matter of fact I do Brendon, as a matter of fact I do.” He leaned over and kissed my hand. Before I looked down he had already opened the fridge, and gotten out pizza dough, cheese and a baking sheet.

“Wanna see me spin the pizza dough? I used to work in a pizza shop.” Dallon was smiling cutely, and then threw the pizza dough at me. It hit me directly in the face. 

“DALLON! You know I can’t catch things.” I said my words muffled through pizza. 

He came over and nibbled the bottom of the pizza crust before peeling it off my face. 

“I wish we got a polaroid of that.” He started kissing me, and once again we ended up on the couch, shirtless and sweaty- with law and order on. No pizza.


	4. Left Behind

“The people that we trusted,  
Really let us down.  
Everybody wants to fly,  
And never touch the ground.  
They treat us like we’re pieces,  
In a parlor game,  
Leaving us to take the blame.”- Weezer// The Underdogs

I had to be home tomorrow, because Breezy was coming back from Canada and he had to pick her up at the airport. Like nothing ever happened. And Sarah would expect me home from “Zack’s.” We were watching a final episode of Law and Order, and making out during the commercials. I put on a pair jeans of his that I would say I bought at the store, because I didn’t pack any clothes. I kept an old white t-shirt of his on.

Dallon dropped me a block away from my house. I walked the rest of the block home, wishing that those 3 days could be everyday. But it probably never will.I got some inspiration for the album though. And I had some old school polaroids to bury in my sock drawer with that note from Ryan in 2006. In a little box wrapped with old tour posters before the split. 

“Did you write anything good?” Sarah asked, sitting on the couch while painting her nails. 

“Yeah we did, I’m gonna lay down and take a nap. I’m pretty hungover.” I said to her, grabbing my phone and changing into sweatpants. That’s when I realized I left my jeans at Dallon’s. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Breezy was going to find them. We’re done for. My phone buzzed at the end of the thought.  
Dallon: Breezy found your pants. She knows they're yours. She is on a plane back to her parents in New York with the kids. The kids heard us fighting. She’s going to text Sarah everything.

Brendon: FUCK!!! I might as well wait up here for Sarah to yell out me and say she’s getting a divorce. I’m so sorry about the kids. They shouldn’t of heard this. 

Dallon: I know and I miss you. Maybe now that it’s sorta out in the open we can make it work. Love you.

Brendon: Love you too. 

Suddenly I realized everything I had ever worked for might be over. But Dallon had his kids at stake, and I really had nothing but Sarah.


	5. And I'm Sorry

Even now I can feel your face  
Resting on my chest  
Wrestling for sleep  
And failing at it--- Dashboard Confessional// Even Now 

 

I heard footsteps up the stairs. I knew they were Sarah’s and I knew what was about to happen.

“BRENDON, FIRST FUCK YOU. EXCEPT YOU WOULDN’T WANT THAT WOULD YOU? SECOND OFF HE IS MARRIED, WE ARE MARRIED AND BOTH TO WOMEN!!!! BREEZY TEXTED ME EVERYTHING. SHE FOUND YOUR PANTS ON THE FLOOR, AND YOU WERE GONE FOR 3 DAYS. YOU WEREN’T AT ZACK’S YOU WERE FUCKING DALLON AND PROBABLY CHAIN SMOKING CIGARETTES. I’M DONE. I CAN HANDLE YOUR DRINKING, AND YOU BEING AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES, BUT I CAN’T HANDLE THIS. BREEZY IS TAKING THE KIDS TO LIVE WITH HER PARENTS IN NEW YORK. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU DID?” She was both yelling and crying at the same time, before she grabbed a suitcase and started packing to go to her parents. She left without a word.

I didn’t even pour the whisky into the glass. I just took a swig out of the bottle. After a couple more swigs the doorbell rang. I think it was Dallon but I was slightly tipsy, actually I was drunk.

“Dallon, did you want to stay. I am inferring a yes from that suitcase?” I led him into the couch. 

He started to cry, and sat down on the couch. I followed him and sat next to him, wrapping my body into his, I pulled myself away a little and started to stroke his hair.

“Dallon. Everything will work out. I love you, even if you don’t have her, you have me. And I’m not leaving. I don’t Sarah, and you don’t have Breezy- but you will have your kids, and you will have me. Now let me make you feel better.” I spoke softly as he dried his eyes. 

I leaned in and gently kissed his lips and traced his collarbones with my finger tip. His eyelids closed, and his eyelashes had a tear dripping off them to his face. I wiped it with my fingertip and we leaned into cuddle.


	6. Swimming

Dallon walked around and paced in a pair dirty, gross sweatpants and a white t-shirt that had sweat stains. I had not heard from Sarah- she was at her parents. I don’t know if Dallon had heard from Breezy, or his kids, for that matter. He just paced around. I think he made bacon once, but other than hadn’t anything to eat and also didn’t shower. He smelled to be honest. 

“Dallon, I know you are upset but please shower. To be honest, you smell- like bad.” I walked past him and started to play the piano, and sing Taxi Cab by Twenty Pilots. 

“Come with me, and I’ll shower. You also smell.” He said, his mouth twisting up in a smile.

“Fine, I’ll come with you.”

I couldn’t tell if being in the shower with him would be creepy or sexy. I had never showered with anyone. 

“You know what, I’m not gonna come, you’re gonna go to the pool with me. That will make you feel better.” I walked upstairs and grabbed two pairs of swim trunks. He was sitting still on the plain black couch that was covered in dog hair. The dogs might be missing Sarah more than I was. 

I threw him a pair of the swim trunks and put mine on at the same time. His chest was flat but toned, and god damn those hip bones. What most people don’t know is that I was a championship diver in 9th and 10th grade, and then I quit because of the band and music. 

We walked out to the pool in silence and I walked onto the diving board. I bounced twice before grabbing my legs in front of me and flipping twice and then diving into the water. I came up out of the water to see Dallon standing next to diving board.

“What the fuck Brendon, I never knew you could do that?! I guess it explains your backflips on stage.” He said and I got out of the water and snuck up behind him, shoving him into the pool.

“Brendon!!! You just pushed me! It was the first time he laughed in two days. I got on the diving board and did a back dive with a twist, and swam over to where he was. 

“Come lets go to the shallow end…” I smiled deviously, and pulled him, spinning him by his arm out around me. 

I pushed his body against the wall of pool. He was so tall he could sit down on the floor of the pool with his head and clavicle still sticking out of the water. I pressed my lips hard against his, and ran my hand up against his legs which were sticking out to the side.

There was a fence high enough for no one to see and we ended up the couch out by pool, before watching the sunset from the pool with bourbon.


	7. Trust and Respect (Lack of)

“Trust and respect is what we do this for  
I never intended to be next  
But you didn't need to to take him to bed, thats all  
And I never saw him as a threat  
Until you disappeared with him to have sex of course”- Ed Sheeren// Don’t

It was about 3 in the afternoon when I heard a knock on the door. I was wearing skinny jeans and an old t-shirt. Someone with a suit on and Sarah were at the door. 

“My name is Robert Smith. I’m Sarah’s attorney. I’m here to officially serve you, who I am assuming are Brendon Urie, am I correct,I nodded, with notice of divorce and nullification of a prenuptial agreement. Sarah didn’t say a word but mouthed, “I was told to play nice, but that advice was given before you decided to fuck your married bandmate, after denying any feelings for him to my face. Fuck You.” 

She packed everything that was her’s and stuffed it into my suitcases. 

“Sarah, those are my suitcases.” I yelled at her.

“They were our suitcases and now they're mine. Oh and by the way I’m taking the dogs.” She was almost done packing what she hand’t the other day. 

“You may wanna check the internet. Breezy and I told everything to Alternative Press. I’m going to ruin both of your lives. You fucked the wrong person, literally and figuratively.” She grabbed the dog’s leashes and hooked them. 

“You wanna ruin me, I’ll ruin you. I think you are forgetting a few photos and videos I have.” I waved the phone in her face.

“Try me Brendon, try me, I dare you.” She said as she walked out the door. 

I walked over to the door and shut it. I didn’t know where Dallon was until he came into the room. Sarah told me to read AP, and I did. Online. It’s bad, it’s terrible. Everyone knows, everyone. You should see the tumblr posts and the tweets. 

“We’re fucked.” I said, as I leaned into his chest.


	8. Shine

sat on the couch, just sitting. Dallon just had the same thing happen to him. A lawyer showed up and served him with divorce papers.

“Dallon, I want you to come here.” I said to him, and patted on the bed.

“I don’t want you to cheer me up, I don’t want to have sex, I just want to try to figure out what this empty shell of a life holds for me me. Because I don’t think it’s anything.” He had tears in his eyes, and face planted onto the other couch. 

“THERE IS NOTHING LEFT BRENDON, FOR EITHER OF US!!!! NOTHING! I FUCKED UP, I NEVER SHOULD OF SAID ANYTHING TO YOU. I NEVER SHOULD OF TOLD YOU HOW I FELT!!!” Dallon was crying, loudly, terribly loudly and deeply into my black leather couch.

At first I said nothing but went over to the piano, and started to play. I didn’t know the chords to the song but I knew the lyrics. It was shine, by Birdy.

Standing here in the rain  
I can see the water soaking through  
The holes in your shoes  
And turn your mind from the storm  
Get you somewhere safe  
Where it's soft and warm

I'm waiting here at a dim street light  
Orange dances around in your empty eyes  
And I can see straight into your soul  
Feeling oh so lost and out of control  
Oh

Shine  
If your heart tells you to then who are you to question it  
Shine  
If the world gets you down don't be afraid to wrestle it  
Shine  
You have your whole life ahead of you  
Come make a mess of it  
Shine  
If your heart tells you to then who are you to question it  
Who are you to question it

Tired now, feeling scared  
Unfamiliar light floods into the room  
You have woken to  
Hopeful eyes looking out  
As you wait alone  
Hiding tears of doubt

Not holding back as you realize  
Your abandonment  
You'll be cast aside  
And I can see straight into your soul  
Feeling oh so lost and out of control  
Whoa oh

Shine  
If your heart tells you to then who are you to question it  
Shine  
If the world gets you down don't be afraid to wrestle it  
Shine  
You have your whole life ahead of you  
Come make a mess of it  
Shine  
If your heart tells you to then who are you to question it  
Who are you to question it

Hold my hand when the lights go down  
And you're feeling scared but no one understands  
Whoa oh  
Keep your head up and don't look down  
Now guard your stacks to keep you on the ground  
Whoa oh

Your love is strong  
And they just don't deserve  
To choose where you belong

Shine  
If your heart tells you to then who are you to question it  
Shine  
If the world gets you down don't be afraid to wrestle it  
Shine  
You have your whole life ahead of you  
Come make a mess of it  
Shine  
If your heart tells you to then who are you to question it  
Who are you to question it

Dallon walked over and stood with his hand on my shoulder, tears running silently down my face. He squatted down to my level and kissed me, soft and gentle this time, our lips interlocking as I stood up. 

“Somehow you knew exactly what to say, or sing. Now let’s make a mess of it.” He spoke, somehow picking me up, and spinning me around. 

He carried me into the bedroom, and threw me down onto the bed. He pulled off my t-shirt and my pants.

“You are so hot you know that, like to the point where I can’t contain myself. He kissed me ALL over my body, before taking off his clothes and I returned the favor. We never even got under the blankets.

“God you are GOOD.” I said, panting, out of breath.

“Same to you.” He spoke back as we both laid out of breath, and somehow forgetting that our lives were falling apart.


	9. Newspapers

“And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't wanna go home right now”- Iris// Goo Goo Dolls

I sat down on the couch the next day when I heard Dallon’s phone ring, I brought it to him. It was Breezy. 

“Hi Breezy.” Dallon said.

“What do you mean you just moved the kids to your parents house, you actually moved out of the house?” He was yelling.

“You know what fuck you. You can have the kids, if I’m supposedly such a bad person. So fuck you and them.” He clicked the hang up button and threw the phone across the room and onto the couch.

“What do you say you and I get drunk and realize we don’t need any of them.” He said, back to his calm standard demeanor. 

“Or we can just make out on the couch?” I suggested. 

“I want you to give me a strip tease Brendon, I want you to work for it. I need to see that you WANT me.” His voice was deep and taunting, and I was instantly turned on. 

I walked up slowly sat down in Dallon’s lap (he was sitting on the bed,) “What does my handsome man want, do you want the pants off?” I said to him.

“I want everything off.” Dallon said stroking my leg. I sexily took off my clothes. 

“Your hip bones, where they dip in are making me so horny, I need to be inside of you. Dallon sat down and took off his clothes. “I just want to lick you little fuckboy.” He was coming over, about to finally give me what I wanted all alongs. It was rough, and on the floor.

I had rug burns on my knees and elbows, and we just laid on the floor exhausted. “That was the best yet.” I said to Dallon, running my hands through his hair.

“I love taking charge of you.” He pretended to spank me.


	10. Law and Order

“I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife  
Offer me that deathless death  
Good God, let me give you my life”- Hozier// Take Me Church

 

I put on a suit, a regular suit. Sarah was meeting me in court. I was dreading the day for a week, ever since her lawyer called and told me the date. I was fucked, cause I did nullify the prenup. She could take pretty much everything that was in both of our names. A.K.A. the house, I mean fuck, and most of my money was in a savings account that also had her name on it. I grabbed the car keys and the documents that I needed, and walked out the door.

Sarah was sitting at the other brown table with her lawyer, my lawyer was at the defendant's table. Sarah was wearing a black dress and blazer with her hair up. The judge was an older man who’s name placke said Hon. Snyder. 

“Will everyone rise.” He said in a monotone voice. “We are here to determine the division of assets, and nullification of a prenuptial agreement between Sarah Urie and Brendon Urie, the defendant will you please rise and enter the witness stand.” The judge seemed like he took no shit. Well he was a judge, after all. I walked up to the raised stand and booth.

Her lawyer stood up and walked to the stand. “Is that true that Dallon Weekes, your bandmate and friend, declared romantic feelings for you on Tuesday, May 8th, 2016? I remind you that even though this is a divorce proceeding you are under oath.” He said, and this is when I knew everything was over.

“Yes.” I said, no emotion attached. 

“And isn’t it true that you later lied to your wife, the plaintiff, for three days about where you were? Also please tell the court where you were and who you were with.” His voice pretty much cut out my heart, along with her face. She was staring me down smugly. 

“Yes, that is true. I was at Dallon Weekes’ house with Dallon.”

“For the record he is indicating Dallon Weekes.” The lawyer said.

“Is it true that you engaged in any manor of sexual relations with the aforementioned person or any person for that matter?” This was the question that did it.

“Yes that is true, and I did so willingly and you can take my shit, but no one will ever care about you in anyway.” I yelled out at Sarah.

“Mr. Urie, please keep your responses limited to the questions.” Judge Snyder said. I nodded and mumbled “Yes sir.” 

“Actually I believe we have everything we need to attest to the fact that Mr. Urie nullified the prenuptial agreement.”

“I would agree, Mr. Smith. Division of assets will now begin.” The judge really had no emotion. 

The house, the dogs, and 1.5 million dollars in our joint savings account went to Sarah. I got the $500,000 dollars that was in my name, any possessions bought exclusively for me, and a week to move out. My lawyer had no way contest the ruling. Sarah walked up to me.

“I told you not to mess with me, now get the FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, because guess what the same thing’s gonna happen to Dallon and you two can get the fuck out of my life.” She walked off her heels clicking in the distance on the cold court tile floor. I said thanks to my lawyer and drove home to pack, because in the next courtroom to the left Dallon had his heart handed to him on a platter and probably everything he owned too.


	11. Kids

I had, with Dallon’s help, successfully packed everything I had left up, and Dallon was saying goodbye to his kids. He lost custody. 

“Now I love you guys, more than anything ok. Remember that. I’ll see you in the summer with Uncle Brendon. Don’t ever forget I love you.” Breezy and the kids walked away and Dallon had tears welling up in his eyes. We moved all like 9 suitcases and put them and the boxes into the U-Haul and drove away from everything we had ever known to an apartment and everyone hating us. 

I drove the U-Haul to the apartment, which was some what down the road. It wasn’t bad and it had a pool in the complex. Everything had happened so fast, but then I realized I had pretty much loved him since the moment I laid eyes on him, the same thing had happened with Ryan. 

We had gotten all the suitcases and the boxes up to the apartment. Dallon had barely spoken to me. 

“Dallon, do you want cheered up? We can unpack later.” I said my voice raising into a smile.

“That would be great Brendon, but you are in charge this time.” Dallon started to take off his clothes and just laid on the floor. 

“Do what you want to me.” He looked so vulnerable and controllable. I started to tease him down there and liked his chest and pinned him down to the floor. “You are mine now, I’m going to give you everything you ever wanted.” 

I laid down next to him, both sweaty. He was almost bleeding from rugburns on his knees. 

“Brendon, you are better than anyone I’ve ever had.” Dallon stood up, and brushed off his knees to get dressed and unpack the boxes. I followed suit.


	12. Ties

The apartment was unpacked, and I sat down on the couch (which I got in the divorce,) with a whisky in my hand. I had Law and Order on the TV (which I had to buy and lost in the divorce,) and Dallon was leaning against my shoulder. He was stroking my knee, and tracing patterns on my chest through my shirt. 

“You know I love you right?” He said to me and started mussing up my hair. 

“Yeah well I love you even more, Dallon.” I said and traced his lips with the tip of my finger.

“You want this, don’t you?” I nodded yes. 

I watched as he pulled off my shirt and held me down on the couch, he nibbled at my lip and shut the blinds, 

“I know just what to do with you, my little fucktoy.” His voice was deep and throaty. 

“Something bad’s about to happen and you’ll love it.” He instructed me to get off the couch and walk into the bedroom. 

“Get on your knees, and I think you know what to do.” He dropped his pants, and yes I did know what to do. He proceeded to tie my hands together with ties from a suit of mine in the closet. I watched as he teased me, while I couldn’t a thing about with my hands behind my back. Eventually we both finished and laid there rubbing my wrists.

“You left marks on my wrist, Dall.” I said to him.  
“And I still have rug burn from the other day, Bren.” His voice was slightly mocking me.

“You are so cute, Dallllll.” I was slightly mocking him.

For everything that had happened somehow we had managed to keep our spirits high. I don’t know how, but he had the charisma to make me feel better. There was just something about him. He just gave me life, something about his whole presence made me feel at ease. It made feel like everything was going to be alright, even when it wasn’t.


	13. Hallelujah

I want to go to the studio.” I said to Dallon, as I rubbed his back, while he made his morning coffee. 

“We could go in today, Bren.” What started as a joke, Bren and Dall, had now become something cute and sweet. 

“Ok, I have a song ready to record. Hallelujah. I think we can release it as a single.” I said and kissed him. We had been very lovey dovey, and also very...um...active. Yeah that’s the way to put it. 

We got dressed and Zack drove us to the studio. Zack hadn’t been around much lately, it was probably us. We pulled up and I decided to sit down and show Dallon the lyrics to the song.

“I like it, is this the background music you had me practice?” He asked me.

“Yeah, it is. Do you want to try to play, I have everyone else’s parts already recorded.” 

I started to sing after the already recorded tracks started. “All you sinners stand up sing hallelujah!” I hit the high note and finished out the song.

“That is so good, like seriously so good. And that high note is even better than I’ve heard you sing before.” 

______________________________________________________________Interview

“So we are with Panic! at the Disco, who have recently been streaked by controversy. Between the new found relationship between members Brendon Urie, and Dallon Weekes, and divorce proceedings between their wives and against both of them. But in light of their new single, we decided to talk to them.” The guy said.

“We’re not here to talk about our relationship, we’re here to talk about our single.” I said to the interviewer. I continued to make one statement, “Our relationship does not impact the band, everything will continue just how it used to. Our personal lives aren’t anyones business.” I then proceeded to answer questions from fans and reassure them everything was fine. 

The fans were pretty supportive actually.


	14. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SELF HARM TW

Scars cover you in fine lines,   
number you a timeline,   
where was I when you stopped trying

You borrowing my tears an  
harrowing my mirror,   
covering our eyes so I can't see us crying. 

I'm not going home without you  
I'll save your life  
Not going home without you  
I'll make this right,   
and wait all night if that's what it takes. - Anna Nalick// Scars

Suddenly I hated myself, I sat in my bathroom, in the new apartment. I picked up a razor blade from the box in the shitty wooden medicine cabinet. Looking at shiny blade, I twisted it in hand leaving marks in my palm. 

All of the sudden I got the guts to take the razor blade and slice into my arm, I took it sliced my arm, deeply on the the edge of the front of my arm. It started to bleed, a lot, out of my arm. The skin was peeling back and the blood was running out. I started to feel dizzy, and weak. 

Stumbling out of the bathroom, I walked towards Dallon.

“Shit Brendon, what did you do? Why did you do this. Do you need to go to the ER?” Dallon maintained his composure but in his eyes I could see fear, and desperation even in my foggy head.

“I hate myself, I ruined everything for both of us, I ruined you and your family, I made you lose your kids, I ruined my marriage, and I’m just a fuck up.” I started crying and blood was pooling on the carpet where I was about to sit down. 

“Let’s bandage it up, and see if you need to go to the ER. And you’re not a fuck up.” Dallon went and handed me a washcloth to apply pressure. The bleeding appeared to be slowing down. 

Dallon came over and handed me an old t-shirt to put on and started putting butterfly band-aids on the cut to close it. He then put on a large regular band-aid, and wrapped most of my forearm in gauze. 

“Promise me you won’t do this again, promise me, please?” Dallon had tears in his eyes.

“I promise.” The next thing I know I hit the ground, and everything goes black.


	15. ICU's Hall of Fame

Mama don’t cry  
I was once your little baby boy  
So full of love and light  
By the time I turned 25  
I was lost among the pavement  
Lower than the basement  
And I couldn’t stand and smile  
I thought of taking my own life-Nate Ruess//AhHa 

I woke up on a stretcher on an ambulance. Dallon was sitting in the front seat, and a paramedic had a blood transfusion hooked to my other arm. 

“What happened?” I stumbled around the words, everything dizzy and disoriented. 

“You passed out from blood loss, you cut yourself shaving. Why you were shaving your arms I don’t know, but you were.” The paramedic said, and I was so thankful for Dallon lying for me so they didn’t lock me up somewhere. 

“We’re giving you a blood transfusion and I am going to stitch you up. Try to be more careful next time.” The paramedic started stitching my arm with blue stitches. By the time we got to the hospital, I wasn’t bleeding but they took me back to the ER.

“Brendon, I lied for you. You are so lucky that you aren’t getting locked up. I think they are just giving you fluids. But you can’t do this again. I care about you too much. I want you to be ok, I love you.” Dallon was sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed.

A nurse came and hooked an IV, and I was soon asleep on the bed.


	16. Stitch me up

“All of the lies she tells herself,  
Won't be believed by anybody else.  
And I can't buy just what she sells,  
When she tells lies.”-The Brobecks//All of The Drugs

“Brendon, were you trying to kill yourself?” Dallon asked, out of genuine concern. 

“I don’t know Dallon, I don’t know. I just don’t know what I was doing, I saw the box blades and couldn’t help myself. I used to do it in high school but it has been years, so I don’t understand. But I don’t know what I was trying to do but I’m not going to do it again.” I said to him, I was feeling weak and tired and wanted to sleep when the nurse came in.

“Brendon, you have to follow up with the doctor on this card in 2 weeks to get your stitches out. We’re going to discharge you but next time be more careful.” She said as she disconnected the IV line and I sat up, a little woozy and my arm in pain. 

I got up and grabbed my phone, and slipped a hoodie over my body. I had to get back to the apartment and lay down. 

“I just need to lay down Dallon.” I said when we walked in the door. 

“I’m not leaving you alone.”


	17. Stay High

“But everybody's gotta get by  
I got holes in my pockets  
Everybody wants to stay high  
Just so you know,  
I got it if you want it”-New Politics//Everywhere I go (Kings and Queens)

I had seemed to take a swing to the other side of the spectrum, I was always drunk and high and partying. In fact we had even played a show when I was a drunk and no one even noticed. Dallon was a little upset, but I had to deal somehow.

“Dallon just take a drag, you’ll feel better, I promise.” I said trying to hold out a joint to him. 

“I don’t want to. I don’t want you to do that either.” He was getting annoyed I think, but I took another shot of vodka. 

“Seriously Brendon, how long has it been since you’ve been sober?” Dallon was getting annoyed and I once again took a shot of vodka. 

“I don’t know, two weeks.” I laughed.

“Brendon if you don’t stop I’m done. You can drink and you can smoke but you can’t be high ALL THE TIME.” Dallon was serious, I could tell, even drunk. 

“Fine, I’ll stop. I’ll stop- you’re worth more.” I said my words slurring. I continued, “but I’m going out.” 

“Don’t do anything stupid, and I’ll call you a cab.” 

I took a cab back to the old house and banged on the door, hoping Sarah would answer. She opened the door. 

“Get the fuck off of my MY property.” She said to me and tried to close the door, but I stopped her. 

“I came to apologize, I’m sorry about what happened. I just wanted to let you know. That’s all.” I said to her and then walked away. 

“It’s ok Brendon”, she followed me out and grabbed me and started kissing me.


	18. Too Much

“Tonight you're perfect,  
I wanna fall in love with the stars in your eyes  
Tonight you're perfect  
I wanna fall in love but only for the night”-New Politics//Tonight You’re Perfect

Sarah pressed her lips against mine and led me into the house and we fell back onto the couch, and without a word she turned off the lights and started undressing herself as I kissed her sloppily up and down before she pulled off my clothes. 

We started fucking on the floor and then laid there tired, exhausted and drunk as hell.

“You were just as good as I remembered.” Sarah got up and put on my t-shirt. 

“I haven’t been sober in two weeks.” I said to her and the next thing I knew I was laying on the couch under a blanket and it was morning. 

I woke up to a splitting headache and bruise on my shin. Sarah was standing in the kitchen, now her kitchen, and drinking a glass of water.

“What, how did this happen?” My mouth tripped over the words. 

“I miss you, I can forgive you, I know I can.” She started to open the freezer and put waffles in the toaster. 

“I don’t know Sarah, I don’t know, but I have to go. I can’t have it both ways. I’ll get back to you.” I quickly grabbed my stuff and ran out the door.


	19. Sprite

“Your clothes are soaked and you don't know where to go  
So drop your chin and take yourself back home  
And roll out your maps and papers  
Find out your hiding places again”-Lorde//Love Club

I walked back to our apartment, where Dallon was waiting with a can of Sprite in his hand sitting in a black chair. He had a displeased look on his face and was reading a book.

“I know where you were, and I’m pretty sure I know what you did.” He set down the book like he was waiting to kill me.

“I’m sorry, I slept with Sarah. I went over to apologize and she started kissing me and we ended up in bed, well on the couch. She wants me back.I don’t know what to do and I need a drink.” I went to get the bottle of vodka before he stopped me.

“You can’t drink your way out of this one. You have to face it, you can’t spend your whole life drunk, Brendon.” Dallon was right, I sat down on the couch, defeated like a child who couldn’t have a cookie before dinner.

“Listen, if you want to be with Sarah, I would not hold that against you, I really wouldn’t. But she took everything from you without a second thought, and do you really want someone like that in your life? She didn’t even treat you like a human when you were in court and now she wants you back? It doesn’t make sense.” Dallon took a sip of his sprite.

“You’re right, but I love both of you. She was the first person I truly loved. I don’t know what I am going to do.” I said, my head pounding and my heart very confused.

“I can’t make this decision for you but I want you to remember how she made you feel at times.” Dallon got up and turned on Law and Order, which was a bitter reminder of how things were with him before Sarah complicated it again.


	20. Three

“I don't know where you're going  
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?  
I don't know where I'm going  
But I don't think I'm coming home and I said  
I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead  
This is the road to ruin  
And we're starting at the end”-Fall Out Boy//Alone Together

I couldn’t find Dallon. But I think I knew where he went, to chew out Sarah. I grabbed my wallet and keys and got in my car. I knew how to get there by heart, I mean I used to live there. But I couldn’t stand to tell her what I was about to tell her especially after Dallon yelling at her.

Just as I thought, I saw Dallon’s car in the driveway. The door was unlocked and I figured I could walk in.

“WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!” I shouted, Dallon and Sarah were making out on the couch, his shirt was off and she was in her bra.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO!!! I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS YOU TWO, I MEAN FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!!” I was pacing and screaming around.

“You know I could make this work for all of us, right?” Sarah was sitting in a bra with black lace and short jean shorts. I now remember what was so hot about her. 

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying because I never knew you’d be cool with that…” I was slightly confused and slightly aroused and slightly angry.

Somehow we ended up moving back into the house, I don’t know what had become of the cold, icy, and rude Sarah that I saw before. But I liked the new version better. Whatever this weird thing was, whatever she had become was kinda awesome.


End file.
